Jenamireal

Not much on this weekend.  Watched Alek play cricket this morning.  After only batting for a one over last week the coach gave him another shot. 80 runs down and alek was walking around saying “the team is depending on me” I assume it was something his coach said. So alek walks out, gets bowled out 2nd ball without a run to his name.. poor fella..

 Better head to the shower and bed.. going for a long drive with one of my friends and its an early start…

The title may sound a little strange after my last post about drugs…  Sure they may have similar side effects but I’m talking about menopause.  Next time you hear a woman comment (complain) about having a hot flush I can assure you they aren’t kidding.

This may sound a little personal to put on a blog but only very few people read this and most already know other than a random US lawyer looking for someone.  For those of you that know I am only 27 and wondering why I am having a practice run with menopause, here’s why…  In July I had exploratory surgery. After the operation my mum was with me and when the nurse walked out I checked my records which noted that I have endometriosis.  This came as a shock because I assumed if I had it, they would have discovered this when I was operated on in Oct 2005. This diagnosis explained a lot.  The cause for the severe pain that made me nauseous each month among other things.  Other than severe pain and other complications, endo causes infertility in many woman.

Because he was aware that I would like more children my specialist recommended a pretty radical treatment which effectively puts me into menopause for 6 months.  The treatment involves an implant into my stomach once a month for the duration of the treatment.  I can assure you I am dosed up with a lot of local anaesthetic before the needle comes near me and whilst I don’t feel the pain, the specialist said the pain can be excruciating without locals.  The treatment is also used for advanced stages of women with breast cancer and men with prostate cancer. I am due for my 4th needle next week so I am getting there and I go back for another operation in january to see if it has worked as planned.

Unfortunately there are many side effects to this treatment and it’s something I am meant to experience much later in life.  The hot flushes make you feel like you are on fire, burning from the inside out, they only last a short time but some days you won’t experience any, other days they are constant and you can feel like you are suffocating. The biggest side effect for me is the issues with sleeping.  I used to be asleep by 9-10pm (I know, it’s early but it worked for me) but here I am at 12.40 wide awake not being able to sleep. If I do get to sleep I will often wake several times a night.  I’ve had one day when I was sitting at work irritated as hell and felt like my skin was crawling (no relation to the previous drug post).

When I started treatment and spoke to a couple of the girls at work they were very critical of my decision to go ahead with the treatment.  It’s funny how people with absolutely no experience or training feel they should comment (criticise) on a topic which they know nothing about. Anyway…..  I’m getting a photo taken for work tomorrow and need my beauty sleep!

I have been questioned a bit lately about my use or non-use (is that even a word) of illegal drugs.  Many people seem to find it hard to believe that I have never used illegal drugs of any sort, not even cigarettes which should probably be illegal.  I’m not just saying this because two of my brothers read this occasionally.  Two girls from work last week even went so far to imply I am missing out on something..  Forgive me but I am not one to enjoy putting chemicals into my body in order to feel out of control or look like an idiot.  Those that know me already know I am crazy enough without the use of such drugs.

Although I have pretty much always been of the same opinion, I may think differently to the others because they don’t have children.  They don’t have the responsibility of another life looking up to you and expecting you to be around each day as they wake up.  To some others this is not important enough.

On the other hand I think I have finally learn’t to notice when enough alcohol is enough.  Ok so it’s taken two very shocking end of financial year parties but I’m getting there!  I think some recent life events have helped me to “see the light”.  Let’s hope!

I’ve logged in and noticed I have a comment on one of my posts and it’s not from A or my brothers…  15 yr old killed baby, this comment is from a lawyer trying to track her down.. sofia – if you read this again, I’m sorry I don’t actually know the girl… Maybe Oprah knows her inmate no??

I love sleep… it hates me..

In the past few months I have discovered that one of the worst, most frustrating things in life is not being able to get to sleep.  It’s almost 11.30 and it’s now a regular thing for me to be up at this time and well beyond when I previously would be asleep by 10pm. This morning I woke up at 3am and couldnt get back to sleep until 5am.  I think I know the cause of why I am not sleeping but more on that later…

 On a brighter note, I pulled off my acrylic nails and now I can type )